My Happy Diversion

All over the world today, there is trouble. Every news headline, every post on Facebook, every Tweet serves to remind us what a dangerous place our planet has become. Donald Trump, who is spewing neo-Nazi rhetoric and scaring the crap out of everyone (even the GOP), the recent terrorist attacks by Daesh, Syrian refugees trying to escape the violence and turmoil in their country only to be met with hatred, prejudice, and lack of hospitality from the one nation in the world that is best equipped to take them in, and Russia threatening both Syrian and Turkish borders pushing us dangerously near the brink of WWIII, are all events that serve to make us feel powerless, fearful, edgy, and hopeless.

But today I am in my kitchen, for tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Today my eyes are on my laptop screen where I've pulled up all the recipes online that I'm using for my family's feast. Today my head is into

checking to make sure I've gathered all the ingredients I need to make the brine for our turkey, and checking to make sure that we have enough heavy cream to use in my creamed confetti corn dish, and making sure I don't over-bake the pumpkin pies so they won't crack. Today my heart is overwhelmed with love and gratitude for my family, and I'm pouring all of it into every dish I prepare for them. When I do this, I shut out the world and all its troubles. I shut out fear, confusion, anger, hatred, and hopelessness. Today is about love and about the people I love most.

So here's to happy diversions. Here's to turkey and all the trimmings. Here's to family. Here's to world peace. Here's to gratitude for what we've been given.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Don't Mess With Tradtion

My family goes for a very traditional Thanksgiving - turkey with all the trimmings. However, they aren't picky about how the "trimmings" are prepared. They allow me the license and creativity to find new ways of preparing the traditional Thanksgiving foods, so it keeps things current and interesting. I always do a traditional roast turkey (we all seem to prefer it over the popular fried and/or

smoked versions), which almost always turns out tender, moist and flavorful, but this year I've decided to try brining for the first time. I'm going with a slight variation on Alton Brown's brine recipe and useing his roasting method (which I've used now for several years, and love).

Stuffing and/or dressing is my most "messed-with" Thanksgiving side dish. From year-to-year I never seem to prepare it the same way. For years I used my mother's traditional southern cornbread & biscuit stuffing recipe and didn't deviate from that at all. My mother actually got offended if I tried recipes for traditional foods that weren't her recipes. (One year I made Christmas sugar cookies from a friend's recipe which was given as part of a gift of Christmas cookie cutters. I thought my mother was going to disown me for it.)

It wasn't until Mother passed away in 2001 that I really began to explore my own culinary creativity and style and started searching for new and different ways to prepare traditional dishes. After Steph and I got together, I learned that she really wasn't fond of cornbread based dressings and so that gave
me license to do something different for the first time. Since then, I've added different variations of nuts, berries, fresh herbs, bacon, sausage, and varied the types of bread I use in my homemade stuffing. And every year my family compliments me on my creative culinary endeavors.

Sorry Mom, it's not that I didn't love your Thanksgiving dressing when I was a kid. But I'm a big girl now with my own family, and I love making them happy and hearing their compliments and
accolades at the Thanksgiving table every bit as much as you did.

So here's to "messed-with" Thanksgiving recipes and to those who aren't wed so much to tradition as they are to the love and togetherness that those traditions inspire.

Marriage: Our Day Arrives

It was around 9:00 a.m. on Monday, October 6, 2014 when I saw the announcement on my Facebook timeline, that the United States Supreme Court refused to hear the appeal of the State of Oklahoma in the 10th Circuit Federal Court of Appeals case that challenged Oklahoma's ban on same-sex marriage. Earlier in the summer, the 10th Circuit Court had agreed with a federal judge that the ban was unconstitutional. Knowing that SCOTUS's refusal to hear the appeal meant that same-sex marriage was suddenly legal in Oklahoma, I sat at my desk in a state of shock for about five minutes while the news sunk in. After nearly fifteen years together, Steph and I would be able to marry.

We set the date for Friday October 24th, 2014. We had two-and-a-half weeks to plan our wedding, which we decided would take place in our home in the presence of the warmth and love of our friends and family. Our dear friend, Allen Scott, who had been with us from the beginning of our relationship, agreed to register as an officiant so that he could perform the ceremony.

So here we are, a week later, still grinning from ear-to-ear and still pinching ourselves. Every once in a while, we look over at one another as we sit in the living room writing on our computers or watching a movie on Netflix and remind one another that we're really married.

At last, our dream has come true.

Domestic Violence: The Dirty Little Secret

Most of my friends are aware that back in late July I started a new job as the receptionist at Wings of Hope Family Crisis Center, which is a counseling center and women's shelter focusing on the problem of domestic violence and sexual assault. I've been with WOH for nearly three months now, and it's no secret to anyone how much I love my job. I've finally found something where I feel like what I do makes a difference in people's lives. It feeds my soul.

October 1st marked the first day of the observance of Domestic Violence Awareness Month when we at WOH will be involved in leading the community in all kinds of activities and events that bring attention to the problem of domestic violence and how it impacts our community. Thursday evening, October 3rd, I participated in our 7th annual Fashion Show to kick off the month's awareness campaign. It was a free event for the community and a way for us to get people thinking and talking about domestic violence. Several of our local retailers participated along with students and faculty from the Oklahoma State University Department of Design, Housing and Merchandising. 

We were told not to be surprised if someone came to us during the month and shared their story of how domestic violence impacted them. Today it happened to me; I received a private message from a friend from high school who was moved to tell me her story. She gave me permission to share it because she wants people to know that it doesn't have to destroy your life, that there is hope and healing. 

She told me of how her step dad would beat her, her mother, and her sisters on a regular basis and

that when her mother would call the police, she would be lectured on how not to provoke him (what is now known as "victim blaming"). She said that she would try to do everything "perfectly" so that her step dad wouldn't get mad at her and beat her. They never knew what would send him into a rage. One night he got so violent that her mother locked all of them in the bedroom and then helped her and her sisters escape out the window. She said that they all walked barefoot in the night down a gravel road into town. They were terrified if they heard a car driving on the gravel and they would jump into the brush on the side of the road to hide, thinking that it might be him coming after them. 

Her mother later divorced him after she and her sisters were adults. She told me that this experience damaged her, but that she refused to let it defeat her. She is a strong and determined woman who made a career for herself in the nursing field where she is a compassionate caretaker who helps sick people heal. She was also able to break the cycle of violence by choosing a kind and caring mate for herself, a man who loves, respects, and values her for the beautiful woman she is. All of this was going on in my friend's life while we were in school together and I never knew. It was her dirty little secret. 

I'm so grateful that my friend shared her story with me and that she gave me permission to tell it. These stories need to be told so that people will know that this problem is real and it's in their

neighborhood. The girl who sits next to you in English class, the woman who works in your department, the shy little boy you teach in Sunday School whose parents seem so nice - they're all victims and they need for you to speak out. 

It's time to out the dirty little secret so the healing can begin. 

Consequences

It was like looking through glass;
clear, certain, no distortion.
The decision was made.
Take the step.
Now, nothing is clear.

Mag 238

© K. Lynette Erwin, 2014

Love in Any Language

Our beautiful daughter was born to us on September 21, 1988. Twenty-six years ago we had no idea what joy and pride she would continue to bring into our lives. All we knew was that as we held her in our arms, she was the most beautiful thing we had ever laid eyes on.

Since that day, much has changed in our lives. Lauren was joined by a sister Heather, and a brother, Nathan and years after that their

father and I divorced. Many more joys and sorrows came and went, along with new people, and new loves, but one thing remained consistent; the love and commitment we had for our kids. 

So today, I have created a video tribute to Lauren--my beautiful daughter who loves music, art, culture, history, languages, travel, and most of all people. In all her studies and travels abroad her goal has always been to connect with people in order to better understand them and seek ways to build bridges to peace and to a better world for us all. 

Change or Die

It was Episcopal Bishop, John Shelby Spong who, years ago, said that "Christianity must change or die" in response to the question of where the Church fit into modern society and the issues of racism, poverty, women's equality, and homosexuality. Those words would prove to be prophetic as today the Church finds itself in a crisis. With atheism and alternative spirituality on the rise in the United States, the Church finds her pews increasingly vacant. Young people who identify as Millennials are leaving the Church in droves and the Pew Research Poll indicates that the reason is because of the Church's stand against homosexuality and the harsh treatment of gays and their gay friends.

Waking up to this reality has been difficult for the Church. While some of the most extreme fundamentalists are holding on to the Phelps-style "God Hates Fags" dogma, the more progressive sects and denominations are beginning to realize that what Spong warned of years ago, has come to pass and they now seem willing to at least talk about the issues. Some of the change seems to be happening simply because more and more young people are willing to come out to their parents as being gay, and fewer parents, fearing chastisement for being hateful, abusive, bigots on social media, are willing to disown their children when they come out. PFLAG, which is an organization of parents with gay children is reporting a sharp increase in membership, and it was only yesterday that I found a link on Facebook to an article about a Southern Baptist minister in California who has led his church to leave the Southern Baptist Convention because his congregation has decided to openly welcome members of the LGBT community. This decision was primarily due to the fact that the pastor's son had recently revealed to his father that he was gay. It seems the more gays that people know, the less likely they are to judge or be afraid of them. All of a sudden, gays become real people--friends, family members, neighbors-- and not some sub-human abstract abomination from the Old Testament.

Yesterday I attended the Tulsa Pride event with a dear friend and one of the booths I encountered was from the College Hill Presbyterian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma. College Hill has been known as one of the most theologically and socially progressive churches in the entire state for decades and has been on the cutting edge of social issues such as racism, poverty, women's equality, and LGBT rights, throughout it's entire

history as a church. It was through my aunt, who is an elder there, that I first encountered the church and was taken in and sheltered by them after I divorced after 18 years of marriage and then partnered with a woman. Because of my family's and church's rejection, I had nowhere to turn for the support that I needed during a difficult and painful time in my life. The wonderful, loving, and caring people at College Hill embraced Steph and me and took us in as their own. In May of 2001, Steph and I were joined in Holy Union at the College Hill Presbyterian Church. We later removed our membership from there because the 60 mile drive there and back got to be too much to handle, but our hearts always remained with the people and our memories of their love and outreach to us will always be fond.

While watching the parade, I was also struck by the number of Tulsa churches of various denominations that were represented--Episcopal, Presbyterian, Unitarian, and even Methodist were all united in their love and support for the Tulsa LGBT community. Their voice was so loud that it served to drown out the hateful voice
of the crowd of anti-gay protesters carrying their ugly placards admonishing us to "REPENT" or face an eternity in hell. Apparently these Christians worship a different god than the one of the folks at College Hill.

Ten Simple Ways to Get Off the Grid

A few years ago I was introduced to a new concept that people all over the U.S. were adopting in response to the economic crisis that was brought on by the imbalance of wealth due to corporate oligarchy. At first, I thought it was impossible for the regular person, like me to live off the grid. I thought it meant making radical changes like moving to the country and growing organic fruits and veggies and raising chickens, and converting entirely to solar power, none of these things being practical or affordable in my situation. However, over the years, I'm seeing how Steph and I have been slowly but surely moving into an off-the-grid way of life without even realizing that's what we were doing, and we're actually loving the simpler, less expensive, more fulfilling benefits. I thought I'd share a list of ways that we've been moving off the grid that have made it much easier and simple to adopt into any lifestyle.

1. Kill your television. That's actually the first thing we did. When we downsized into a smaller house, we decided not to renew our cable television contract. We have been without cable or satellite T.V. since the summer of 2009, and not only has it saved us thousands of dollars a year, it has actually helped us curb our spending in other ways because we're not constantly bombarded with commercials and messages about how worthless our lives are if we don't have that iphone or the newest computer, or that new car, or the latest designer drug that we're supposed to ask our doctor about but we don't even know what it's for. We own a very nice flat screen digital T.V. and we have Netflix, Youtube, PBS, and other internet apps that provide us with all the movies, television series, music, and entertainment that we require at a fraction of the cost of what cable T.V. with 1000 channels that you never watch provides.

2. Don't run to the doctor for every complaint. Not having medical insurance makes it difficult for us to run to the doctor every time we have a runny nose. Like Steph tells our doctor all the time, "You're an expensive date." As a result, we've learned a lot of ways to not only cure what ails us at home, but we have adopted a healthier lifestyle that prevents illness. We've learned to eat healthier and have found some homeopathic cures for common complaints that are far less expensive than the trip to the physician and the accompanying Rx. Plus, laying off the magic antibiotic cure for everything has actually strengthened our immune systems and we find now that we get fewer colds and flu or other infections.

3. Eat less meat. This actually goes with the previous suggestion about adopting a healthier lifestyle. Although I am an unapologetic omnivore, and will never go completely vegetarian or vegan, I have found that I don't need as much meat and/or animal products in my diet as I have been eating. I don't need to eat meat three times a day, and there are some days when I don't eat meat at all. According to the 2012 National Census Bureau Food & Nutrition Report, the average American consumes about 200 pounds of meat per year.  That's about 50 more pounds of meat per person per year than in the 1950s. And our dairy products consumption is about 600 pounds per year, mostly consisting of cheese. It's easy to see that the meat and dairy industries are making huge profits at the expense of our health and at the expense of humane treatment of industry animals. The healthier and more humane alternative is buying meat and animal products from local farmers and ranchers. It's more expensive in the short run, but if you're eating less meat, the extra cost may

balance itself out in the long run. One thing we do is buy our eggs from a friend who has her own chickens. Her farm fresh eggs are about .50 more a dozen than what I buy in the grocery store, but it's still cheaper than buying meat and you can't even compare the taste, nutrition, and freshness! We've also learned to adopt vegetarian alternatives for our protein sources such as beans, nut butters, etc. We save lots of money and we're a lot healthier for it.

4. Make your own laundry soap. Yes, it's true! We make our own laundry detergent and not only is it much cheaper than the stuff you buy at the supermarket, it is less irritating to the skin, easier on the clothes, and gets the clothes cleaner. Here's a laundry soap recipe that is very similar to the one we use. We buy the ingredients on the detergent aisle at the supermarket. One batch lasts our family about six months and costs us about $10 a batch. Compare that to $20 to $30 a month for the commercial stuff and you can see the instant savings. Also, whenever possible, dry your clothing on a line. It saves energy, saves wear and tear on your clothing and makes them smell great!

5. Buy locally. Whenever we can, we support local business--local restaurants, bakeries, services, clothing stores, furniture, etc. When you support local business, you're taking money away from the corporate conglomerates and insuring a better future for your family and community.

6. Buy refurbished. Not two weeks ago, my old, reliable Dell desktop with Windows XP caught a virus (due to the lack of XP support since April of this year), and died. Because my financial resources are limited, I didn't have the money to go out and buy a new computer so I went on Ebay (on Steph's computer), and searched the electronics pages for licensed Microsoft refurbished computers. I am now typing my blog entry on my new refurbished Dell Latitude laptop with Windows 7. It cost me all of $204.97 and if I take good care of it, will last me as long as my beloved Dell desktop.

7. Ditch the expensive cell phones and cell phone plans. I understand that lots of people are married to their cell phones and find it necessary to have all the latest bells and whistles and gadgets. At the risk of sounding like an old fart, I will tell you that for me they're a waste of money and an expense that I simply can't afford right now. I have a cell phone. It's an LG blackberry style phone that has some apps and several other

features. I use a Net 10 prepaid plan and get unlimited calls and texts for $35 a month, and if I want to add internet access, I can add it for $15 more a month. At this point, I haven't found that necessary, but when I do, I can still get an Android type phone with all the bells and whistles from Net 10 at a fraction of the cost of the phones put out by the big guys and still on a prepaid plan that's much more affordable.

8. Live in a smaller house. In August of 2009, we moved from a nearly 3000 square foot, 5 bedroom house to a 3 bedroom 1930s bungalow cottage with 1250 square feet on a corner lot. At first, it was a huge adjustment for us. We were used to a lovely, elegant, expansive place to entertain guests and it provided the needed privacy that our large family required. However, as the kids started moving out one-by-one and the economy tanked, the rent and utilities became much more than what we could handle, and we were forced to downsize. The rooms are much smaller and fewer, and we had to ditch some furniture in order to squeeze ourselves into a home that was half the size of our previous one. However, after a couple of years of cottage living, we enjoy the charm and warmth of our home and we're much fonder of the lower rent and utility bills. We have the added benefit of a charming front porch on which to entertain, and have found that our smaller, more intimate gatherings and entertainment is more compatible with our new, gentler, off-the-grid lifestyle.

9. Buy from thrift and antique stores. We have found a wealth of treasures in our local thrift and antique stores and not only do we get some very nice quality clothing, but we've also found furniture and housewares at a fraction of the cost of what they would cost new. Plus these items go very nicely in our cottage home. In addition to finding things at a lower cost, you are also helping to support local business.

10. Learn how to cut and color your own hair and do your own nails. I admit it, there's nothing like the feeling of going to a salon and getting the full treatment, but the price for it negates much of the pleasure.

Because I wear a short hairstyle, going to the salon to have my hair cut and colored every six weeks or so, was getting to be much more than I could afford, so I went on line and found a tutorial on how to do both. I've been cutting and coloring my own hair now for several years and at a huge fraction of the cost. Plus, my hair is always the right length, because when it starts to get too long, I can grab my shears and cut it then and there. The same goes for fingernails and toes. I've learned how to give myself beautiful manicures and pedicures that look almost as good as the professional ones, again at a fraction of the cost.

These are just ten very simple ways to start taking yourself and your family off the grid. You can probably think of even more, but these are a great place to start!

Celebrating Music, Celebrating Humanity, Celebrating Life

Growing up Baptist, I missed so much of the incredibly beautiful and meaningful music associated with this season of the year because Baptists avoided anything that was too liturgical. It wasn't until I sang this piece with the Stillwater Chamber Singers several years ago did I realize how truly magnificent it is.

I no longer celebrate the religious aspect of this season, preferring to celebrate it in a fashion that reflects its pagan origins of fertility and rebirth, but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate its significance to others and to western history and culture. Happy Easter to all my friends, however you celebrate it, or not.


Pergolesi's magnificent Stabat Mater for Soprano & Alto

Writer's Discouragement

I admit it. For the past several days I have been caught up in a funk of discouragement. I learned not too long ago that another novel with my book's subject has been published through a big house publisher. And although it appears from the previews and the reviews that have already been posted on Amazon.com that it doesn't even come close to matching the quality and depth of research, writing, or story-telling that mine does, because it is through a legacy publisher and not an independent, in the less-than-two months since its publication, it has already surpassed mine in sales and number of Amazon reviews. That's the advantage of a legacy publisher: Marketing. An author who is picked up by a big house publisher is guaranteed a mass market that an independent doesn't have access to.

Yet, if I were to try and get mine published through a big house, I would have to find an agent and then I would be subject to all the cuts, maximum word count requirements, and changes that the publisher would demand and then my story would be little more than a cheap paperback romance novel--just like the one that's getting all the marketing and crappy Amazon reviews. I won't compromise my standards to meet  some publisher's bottom line demands.

Damn, it's discouraging to be an independent author in a niche market stuck out in the middle of nowhere with few connections. Just damn.

When Dust Settles

"Wait until the dust settles,"
Patience cried, impatiently.
"When sorrow and regret have
claimed their spots in corners
with cobwebs,
and anger rests
passively upon the table,
then the light of forgiveness will pour in
and expose them, 
so that they can be swept away."

Mag 214

© K. Lynette Erwin, 2014

The Canvas

You came to me wrapped in skin;
soft, smooth, clear, flawless,
skin.
I cherished it, cared for it,
bathed it, oiled and powdered it.
What clean, tender, soft skin.
I kissed it, caressed it, pampered
and protected it as a fine
piece of art.
I didn't know it was only a
canvas.
I thought it was perfect
as it was.

Mag 213 

© K. Lynette Erwin, 2014

Manifesting the Dream

Almost from the beginning of our relationship, Steph and I have dreamed of owning a home in the country that would be suitable for hosting an artist's retreat. It, in fact, is the primary reason we started our non-profit, Allabreve.org. At this point, our primary focus has been upon author support services and providing websites at a low cost to artists and arts organizations, but we've always had a dream of providing support to musicians, artists, writers, and actors with funding and retreats that encourage them to do what they do best. With the arts on the austerity chopping block in most governments and with public school budgets slashed to the bare-bones minimum, people in the private sector must move up to the forefront and provide educational opportunities and funding

to help artists realize their talents and promote the arts in a world that is literally starving for them.

Recently, we've been sensing the "call" to step-up our efforts towards manifesting our dream into reality, but to do so is going to require contact with the right people--those with the same vision as ours and who either have the money to make it happen or who know investors who have

money and the desire to be a part of something like this. We do know many "right" people in many "right" places who very likely could put us in contact with the ones who could help us turn this dream into a reality. That's why I'm posting this entry today. It's one way of putting out the call. The universe knows what we desire. We're ready now to make this thing happen!

His Room

I cleaned your room today.
Evidence of tortured teenage paradox
strewn across the floor.
Baseball cards, skateboard magazines,
and candy bar wrappers among
empty beer bottles and photos of a girl give
evidence of the man struggling to emerge.
Tucked in rumpled linens, an empty cigarette pack
concealing what you didn't want me to know.
I knew this day would come.
Mothers aren't ignorant of such things.
How do you think you got here in the first place?

Mag 212

© K. Lynette Erwin, 2014

Who Decided that Celebrities Were Obligated to Be Your Child's Role Model?

Today on Twitter, as I scrolled down my tweet list, a particular one caught my eye. A woman asked why, since Marilyn Monroe was a drug abuser and died of a drug overdose (which is still hotly debated), do so many girls look up to her as a role model. I wanted to answer her question, but since it was Twitter, I didn't have enough space to tell her exactly what I thought. If I had, I would have answered her by asking, "And what makes you think that she was obligated to live her life according to your expectations?"

Celebrities aren't role models, they're celebrities. They get to be celebrities because they're movie stars, musicians, or sports figures, or politicians, or sometimes for no reason at all other than they're spoiled rich girls who have a reality T.V. show. Celebrities are created by the public and they're often people who we wouldn't necessarily choose as role models for ourselves or our children. And since it's the public who has given them their

celebrity status (often for acting in ways that is less than role-model worthy), why do we put them up on pedestals and insist that they live their private lives according to our moral and ethical standards?

If I might make an observation here, I don't believe girls look to Marilyn Monroe so much as a role model as they admire her for her physical beauty and her mega-celebrity status. Marilyn is more than a celebrity, she's an icon. She was never "role model" material nor did she ever pretend to be. She was a sex pot, blonde bombshell and she used it to her advantage. She had affairs with the most powerful men on earth, and she was never a "good girl".

Marilyn Monroe wasn't Mother Theresa, nor did she ever pretend or wish to be. Nor did she ever expect to be your little girl's role model.


© K. Lynette Erwin, 2014

The Morning Breakfast Table

Family breakfast at our house was an adventure. It began at 7:00 A.M. sharp when Dad yelled up the stairs to us kids, "Get up! Breakfast is ready!" It always struck terror in me because I knew my feet had better hit the floor before he finished his sentence or there would be hell to pay. We'd throw on our robes and slippers and yawn and stretch our way down to the kitchen breakfast table where Dad sat at the head with his Bible and a devotional pamphlet. Mother would still be buzzing about making the last minute food preparations and pouring Dad's coffee as we all shuffled in and sat down to the table.

Across from me sat my younger brother. He always wore a sullen expression and avoided making eye contact with anyone. When Mother sat his plate of eggs, sausage, and toast in front of him, he would pick up his fork and with it, lift his sausage patty and stare suspiciously underneath, as if something with eyes was lurking there. I don't think he ever found anything, but he always checked.

My baby sister sat to my left in her high chair. She was the kid who wouldn't eat. Every family has one. It didn't matter what was set in front of her, she refused it, so I was the one with the fork-load of scrambled eggs swirling it towards her mouth and making airplane noises in hopes that she might give in and take a bite or two.

After the last piece of toast came out of the oven broiler and was stacked on a plate with the others, Mother would sit down to the table and Dad would open his Bible and read the passage that he had carefully chosen for the day. This was our family devotion time and it was held at the table every weekday morning and on Sundays. The only day we got a break from it was on Saturday when Mother made pancakes for breakfast and Dad joined us kids in the living room with our TV trays and watched Bugs Bunny & Road Runner cartoons.

In all my years growing up and in all the years of family table devotions, I can't recall the subject of one of them. I think the only person in the family who actually enjoyed the ritual was my dad, who had a predilection for pontification and who seemed to like making the first fifteen minutes of every morning (except Saturdays) more difficult to stay awake through than our minister's forty-five minute church sermons. He never seemed to notice that while he preached on, my brother and I would cross our eyes and stick our tongues out at one another, or that Mother sighed and watched the clock, worried that our breakfast was getting cold.

After the sermon was finished we would all join hands and Dad would appoint someone to say the morning blessing, which always seemed to be a contest over who could deliver the most compelling or touching prayer and to which Dad would listen for indications that we had paid attention to the devotion. After the "Amen" was said, hands would drop and Mother would arise from her seat and serve our cold breakfast.

Pass the jelly, please.

Mag 211

© K. Lynette Erwin, 2014

Remember

Remember the past, but don't linger.

Remember what we had, but move on.

Remember what we lost, but don't grieve.

Remember? You captured it all in song.

Remember the joys, the laughter.

Remember the heartbreak and tears.

Remember the tender, stolen kisses.

The memories sustained us through the years. 

Now at last we're together.

The memories of love brought us here.

It was the captured song we remembered,

And it kept us from all fear.

So remember the past and linger.

Linger in my arms and in my heart.

And when once again, death comes,

We will never again be apart. 

© K. Lynette Erwin, 2014

 

Manic

You blew in with no warning and,

in typical fashion,

with your destructive, acerbic, tongue,

peeled the paint from off the walls,

and left me covered in the dust of

your destruction. 

So here I sit

trying to decide where to

begin picking up the pieces

leftover from the tirade.

Flip the switch.

The lamp is still on.

© K. Lynette Erwin, 2014

Mag 210

I Don't Want to Be in Your Play Anymore

People who know me know that I love the theater. I've been an actress since I was old enough to stand in front of the television and mimic the singers, dancers, and actresses who caught my fancy on all of the variety shows and movie musicals that were so popular in the 1960s. I was in my first live stage production at the age of nine and by the time I started high school, I'd been a part of so many plays and musical productions that I couldn't count them all. I love drama and I always have--on the stage, that is.

Unfortunately I also grew up with a lot of drama that wasn't always played out on the stage. It was Shakespeare who said that "All the world's a stage and all men and women merely players...", and he was correct. We all have to deal with a certain amount of offstage drama, but that doesn't mean that we have to create it nor must we be willing participants in the drama that someone else creates. The problem is that when we grow up in the drama, it's all we know. We don't realize that we don't have to live with it or that it's even harmful to us not only emotionally and mentally, but physically as well. We literally become addicted to it like a drug, which in fact, it is a drug, or at least it causes a chemical reaction in our bodies and gives us a rush like a drug. The natural hormone that it creates and feeds on is adrenalin, also known as the "fight or flight" hormone, and it's that chemical rush that causes our addiction to drama.

It wasn't until a few years ago after I had a major gallbladder attack and I had to have my very sick gallbladder removed, that I learned that stress and/or "drama" is a major contributor to gallbladder disease. It

was then that I made the decision that when the surgeon cut the diseased organ out, I was going to excise the drama from my life at the same time. I literally said "no" to all the people--family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, people on Facebook, etc.-- who were addicted to drama and who not only created it, but who tried to suck me into it. Not only did I stop participating in other people's drama, I quit creating my own and sucking others in. At first it was hard. Like any addiction, you go through a period of withdrawal that literally leaves you feeling sick, empty, and bored, so to counteract the boredom and fill my life with something where the drama once was, I decided to write the book that I always wanted to write. After writing and publishing two books, I concentrated on losing the weight that the drama-induced stress caused. Pretty soon I found that not only did it get easier and easier to stay out of the drama, it also got easier to identify people who were addicted to drama and who were seeking to suck me into it. And once identified, it was easy for me to tell them that I didn't want to be a part of it and to go away.

Yes, I made a few enemies when I walked off their stages in the middle of a scene, but I actually found a whole lot more friends in the process--friends whose plays are much more fun to be in and who enjoy taking the stage and then standing back and giving the stage to me for a while. If life must be a theater, at least I have a choice of whose play I want to be in.

Indie Author News: Featured Indie Book: So Faithful a Heart (K. Lynet...

Indie Author News: Featured Indie Book: So Faithful a Heart (K. Lynet...: Featured Indie Book on Indie Author News : Historical Romance So Faithful a Heart (Special Edition) by K. Lynette Erwin.