My Happy Diversion

All over the world today, there is trouble. Every news headline, every post on Facebook, every Tweet serves to remind us what a dangerous place our planet has become. Donald Trump, who is spewing neo-Nazi rhetoric and scaring the crap out of everyone (even the GOP), the recent terrorist attacks by Daesh, Syrian refugees trying to escape the violence and turmoil in their country only to be met with hatred, prejudice, and lack of hospitality from the one nation in the world that is best equipped to take them in, and Russia threatening both Syrian and Turkish borders pushing us dangerously near the brink of WWIII, are all events that serve to make us feel powerless, fearful, edgy, and hopeless.

But today I am in my kitchen, for tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Today my eyes are on my laptop screen where I've pulled up all the recipes online that I'm using for my family's feast. Today my head is into

checking to make sure I've gathered all the ingredients I need to make the brine for our turkey, and checking to make sure that we have enough heavy cream to use in my creamed confetti corn dish, and making sure I don't over-bake the pumpkin pies so they won't crack. Today my heart is overwhelmed with love and gratitude for my family, and I'm pouring all of it into every dish I prepare for them. When I do this, I shut out the world and all its troubles. I shut out fear, confusion, anger, hatred, and hopelessness. Today is about love and about the people I love most.

So here's to happy diversions. Here's to turkey and all the trimmings. Here's to family. Here's to world peace. Here's to gratitude for what we've been given.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Don't Mess With Tradtion

My family goes for a very traditional Thanksgiving - turkey with all the trimmings. However, they aren't picky about how the "trimmings" are prepared. They allow me the license and creativity to find new ways of preparing the traditional Thanksgiving foods, so it keeps things current and interesting. I always do a traditional roast turkey (we all seem to prefer it over the popular fried and/or

smoked versions), which almost always turns out tender, moist and flavorful, but this year I've decided to try brining for the first time. I'm going with a slight variation on Alton Brown's brine recipe and useing his roasting method (which I've used now for several years, and love).

Stuffing and/or dressing is my most "messed-with" Thanksgiving side dish. From year-to-year I never seem to prepare it the same way. For years I used my mother's traditional southern cornbread & biscuit stuffing recipe and didn't deviate from that at all. My mother actually got offended if I tried recipes for traditional foods that weren't her recipes. (One year I made Christmas sugar cookies from a friend's recipe which was given as part of a gift of Christmas cookie cutters. I thought my mother was going to disown me for it.)

It wasn't until Mother passed away in 2001 that I really began to explore my own culinary creativity and style and started searching for new and different ways to prepare traditional dishes. After Steph and I got together, I learned that she really wasn't fond of cornbread based dressings and so that gave
me license to do something different for the first time. Since then, I've added different variations of nuts, berries, fresh herbs, bacon, sausage, and varied the types of bread I use in my homemade stuffing. And every year my family compliments me on my creative culinary endeavors.

Sorry Mom, it's not that I didn't love your Thanksgiving dressing when I was a kid. But I'm a big girl now with my own family, and I love making them happy and hearing their compliments and
accolades at the Thanksgiving table every bit as much as you did.

So here's to "messed-with" Thanksgiving recipes and to those who aren't wed so much to tradition as they are to the love and togetherness that those traditions inspire.

Ten Simple Ways to Get Off the Grid

A few years ago I was introduced to a new concept that people all over the U.S. were adopting in response to the economic crisis that was brought on by the imbalance of wealth due to corporate oligarchy. At first, I thought it was impossible for the regular person, like me to live off the grid. I thought it meant making radical changes like moving to the country and growing organic fruits and veggies and raising chickens, and converting entirely to solar power, none of these things being practical or affordable in my situation. However, over the years, I'm seeing how Steph and I have been slowly but surely moving into an off-the-grid way of life without even realizing that's what we were doing, and we're actually loving the simpler, less expensive, more fulfilling benefits. I thought I'd share a list of ways that we've been moving off the grid that have made it much easier and simple to adopt into any lifestyle.

1. Kill your television. That's actually the first thing we did. When we downsized into a smaller house, we decided not to renew our cable television contract. We have been without cable or satellite T.V. since the summer of 2009, and not only has it saved us thousands of dollars a year, it has actually helped us curb our spending in other ways because we're not constantly bombarded with commercials and messages about how worthless our lives are if we don't have that iphone or the newest computer, or that new car, or the latest designer drug that we're supposed to ask our doctor about but we don't even know what it's for. We own a very nice flat screen digital T.V. and we have Netflix, Youtube, PBS, and other internet apps that provide us with all the movies, television series, music, and entertainment that we require at a fraction of the cost of what cable T.V. with 1000 channels that you never watch provides.

2. Don't run to the doctor for every complaint. Not having medical insurance makes it difficult for us to run to the doctor every time we have a runny nose. Like Steph tells our doctor all the time, "You're an expensive date." As a result, we've learned a lot of ways to not only cure what ails us at home, but we have adopted a healthier lifestyle that prevents illness. We've learned to eat healthier and have found some homeopathic cures for common complaints that are far less expensive than the trip to the physician and the accompanying Rx. Plus, laying off the magic antibiotic cure for everything has actually strengthened our immune systems and we find now that we get fewer colds and flu or other infections.

3. Eat less meat. This actually goes with the previous suggestion about adopting a healthier lifestyle. Although I am an unapologetic omnivore, and will never go completely vegetarian or vegan, I have found that I don't need as much meat and/or animal products in my diet as I have been eating. I don't need to eat meat three times a day, and there are some days when I don't eat meat at all. According to the 2012 National Census Bureau Food & Nutrition Report, the average American consumes about 200 pounds of meat per year.  That's about 50 more pounds of meat per person per year than in the 1950s. And our dairy products consumption is about 600 pounds per year, mostly consisting of cheese. It's easy to see that the meat and dairy industries are making huge profits at the expense of our health and at the expense of humane treatment of industry animals. The healthier and more humane alternative is buying meat and animal products from local farmers and ranchers. It's more expensive in the short run, but if you're eating less meat, the extra cost may

balance itself out in the long run. One thing we do is buy our eggs from a friend who has her own chickens. Her farm fresh eggs are about .50 more a dozen than what I buy in the grocery store, but it's still cheaper than buying meat and you can't even compare the taste, nutrition, and freshness! We've also learned to adopt vegetarian alternatives for our protein sources such as beans, nut butters, etc. We save lots of money and we're a lot healthier for it.

4. Make your own laundry soap. Yes, it's true! We make our own laundry detergent and not only is it much cheaper than the stuff you buy at the supermarket, it is less irritating to the skin, easier on the clothes, and gets the clothes cleaner. Here's a laundry soap recipe that is very similar to the one we use. We buy the ingredients on the detergent aisle at the supermarket. One batch lasts our family about six months and costs us about $10 a batch. Compare that to $20 to $30 a month for the commercial stuff and you can see the instant savings. Also, whenever possible, dry your clothing on a line. It saves energy, saves wear and tear on your clothing and makes them smell great!

5. Buy locally. Whenever we can, we support local business--local restaurants, bakeries, services, clothing stores, furniture, etc. When you support local business, you're taking money away from the corporate conglomerates and insuring a better future for your family and community.

6. Buy refurbished. Not two weeks ago, my old, reliable Dell desktop with Windows XP caught a virus (due to the lack of XP support since April of this year), and died. Because my financial resources are limited, I didn't have the money to go out and buy a new computer so I went on Ebay (on Steph's computer), and searched the electronics pages for licensed Microsoft refurbished computers. I am now typing my blog entry on my new refurbished Dell Latitude laptop with Windows 7. It cost me all of $204.97 and if I take good care of it, will last me as long as my beloved Dell desktop.

7. Ditch the expensive cell phones and cell phone plans. I understand that lots of people are married to their cell phones and find it necessary to have all the latest bells and whistles and gadgets. At the risk of sounding like an old fart, I will tell you that for me they're a waste of money and an expense that I simply can't afford right now. I have a cell phone. It's an LG blackberry style phone that has some apps and several other

features. I use a Net 10 prepaid plan and get unlimited calls and texts for $35 a month, and if I want to add internet access, I can add it for $15 more a month. At this point, I haven't found that necessary, but when I do, I can still get an Android type phone with all the bells and whistles from Net 10 at a fraction of the cost of the phones put out by the big guys and still on a prepaid plan that's much more affordable.

8. Live in a smaller house. In August of 2009, we moved from a nearly 3000 square foot, 5 bedroom house to a 3 bedroom 1930s bungalow cottage with 1250 square feet on a corner lot. At first, it was a huge adjustment for us. We were used to a lovely, elegant, expansive place to entertain guests and it provided the needed privacy that our large family required. However, as the kids started moving out one-by-one and the economy tanked, the rent and utilities became much more than what we could handle, and we were forced to downsize. The rooms are much smaller and fewer, and we had to ditch some furniture in order to squeeze ourselves into a home that was half the size of our previous one. However, after a couple of years of cottage living, we enjoy the charm and warmth of our home and we're much fonder of the lower rent and utility bills. We have the added benefit of a charming front porch on which to entertain, and have found that our smaller, more intimate gatherings and entertainment is more compatible with our new, gentler, off-the-grid lifestyle.

9. Buy from thrift and antique stores. We have found a wealth of treasures in our local thrift and antique stores and not only do we get some very nice quality clothing, but we've also found furniture and housewares at a fraction of the cost of what they would cost new. Plus these items go very nicely in our cottage home. In addition to finding things at a lower cost, you are also helping to support local business.

10. Learn how to cut and color your own hair and do your own nails. I admit it, there's nothing like the feeling of going to a salon and getting the full treatment, but the price for it negates much of the pleasure.

Because I wear a short hairstyle, going to the salon to have my hair cut and colored every six weeks or so, was getting to be much more than I could afford, so I went on line and found a tutorial on how to do both. I've been cutting and coloring my own hair now for several years and at a huge fraction of the cost. Plus, my hair is always the right length, because when it starts to get too long, I can grab my shears and cut it then and there. The same goes for fingernails and toes. I've learned how to give myself beautiful manicures and pedicures that look almost as good as the professional ones, again at a fraction of the cost.

These are just ten very simple ways to start taking yourself and your family off the grid. You can probably think of even more, but these are a great place to start!

The Morning Breakfast Table

Family breakfast at our house was an adventure. It began at 7:00 A.M. sharp when Dad yelled up the stairs to us kids, "Get up! Breakfast is ready!" It always struck terror in me because I knew my feet had better hit the floor before he finished his sentence or there would be hell to pay. We'd throw on our robes and slippers and yawn and stretch our way down to the kitchen breakfast table where Dad sat at the head with his Bible and a devotional pamphlet. Mother would still be buzzing about making the last minute food preparations and pouring Dad's coffee as we all shuffled in and sat down to the table.

Across from me sat my younger brother. He always wore a sullen expression and avoided making eye contact with anyone. When Mother sat his plate of eggs, sausage, and toast in front of him, he would pick up his fork and with it, lift his sausage patty and stare suspiciously underneath, as if something with eyes was lurking there. I don't think he ever found anything, but he always checked.

My baby sister sat to my left in her high chair. She was the kid who wouldn't eat. Every family has one. It didn't matter what was set in front of her, she refused it, so I was the one with the fork-load of scrambled eggs swirling it towards her mouth and making airplane noises in hopes that she might give in and take a bite or two.

After the last piece of toast came out of the oven broiler and was stacked on a plate with the others, Mother would sit down to the table and Dad would open his Bible and read the passage that he had carefully chosen for the day. This was our family devotion time and it was held at the table every weekday morning and on Sundays. The only day we got a break from it was on Saturday when Mother made pancakes for breakfast and Dad joined us kids in the living room with our TV trays and watched Bugs Bunny & Road Runner cartoons.

In all my years growing up and in all the years of family table devotions, I can't recall the subject of one of them. I think the only person in the family who actually enjoyed the ritual was my dad, who had a predilection for pontification and who seemed to like making the first fifteen minutes of every morning (except Saturdays) more difficult to stay awake through than our minister's forty-five minute church sermons. He never seemed to notice that while he preached on, my brother and I would cross our eyes and stick our tongues out at one another, or that Mother sighed and watched the clock, worried that our breakfast was getting cold.

After the sermon was finished we would all join hands and Dad would appoint someone to say the morning blessing, which always seemed to be a contest over who could deliver the most compelling or touching prayer and to which Dad would listen for indications that we had paid attention to the devotion. After the "Amen" was said, hands would drop and Mother would arise from her seat and serve our cold breakfast.

Pass the jelly, please.

Mag 211

© K. Lynette Erwin, 2014

Valentine's Day Haters and Other Cynics

My mother loved holidays. She loved them so much that every holiday in our home was decorated in the particular theme with ornaments and knick-knacks that she purchased and collected over the years. It didn't matter if it was a big holiday like Christmas or Thanksgiving, or a minor holiday like St. Patrick's Day or Lincoln's Birthday, she had decorations for it. Her two favorite holidays were Christmas and Valentine's Day. In our home, Valentine's Day sentiments weren't reserved for one's sweetheart. As with all our holidays, it was a time to celebrate family ties and the affection we had for one another. I can remember looking forward to going down stairs to the kitchen breakfast table and always finding a small heart-shaped box of chocolates from my dad, a card and a stuffed animal or sometimes even a pretty piece of jewelry from my mother, and beautiful cards with loving sentiments from my brother (when we both grew old enough to purchase and exchange greeting cards). Because this day was always so family-centered for us, I never thought of it as an exclusive holiday for lovers. Being someone's "Valentine", meant that you cared about them be they a family member, friend, or a love interest. It wasn't until after I got married that I realized that not everyone thought of Valentine's Day in the same "universal love" terms as I did. I'll never forget the year that my husband fussed at me over how much I spent at the Hallmark store on cards for my family and friends, as well as on the postage to mail all of them. I was cut to the quick over his chastisement and I didn't understand why $25 and much less than that on some postage made such a huge dent in our budget, especially when I was expressing to my family and friends how much they were loved and missed. He didn't see it that way. To him, Valentine's Day was a day you got your sweetheart candy and flowers and perhaps took her out to dinner--if you could afford it. (It's probably not a surprise that my first marriage ended in divorce after 18 years.)

When I was nearly 40 years old, I met the love of my life and it altered my view of Valentine's Day considerably. Suddenly I was thrust into Cupid's realm of hearts and flowers, kisses, singing birds, and more romance than I had ever known. I was so in love and so overjoyed that I wanted to shout it to the world. Valentine's Day suddenly became one of my favorite holidays and I was unreserved with my online public displays of adoration and affection for my partner, until Facebook. It wasn't until I joined Facebook in 2007 that I learned that celebrating Valentine's Day was politically incorrect, and those who didn't know this, and

who posted sentimental sayings and public displays of affection, or even general sentiments directed towards friends and family were deemed insensitive to those who didn't have anyone to love or who were loved by no one. I was surprised by the number of statuses from my "friends" expressing their disdain for the holiday as well as the cynical memes from atheist sites that explained the dubious origins of St. Valentine's Day. I began to question whether or not I truly was insensitive when I posted my enthusiastic sentiments for not only my love, but for my children and friends. So the next year when February 14th approached, I hesitated to say much about it and for several years I "overlooked" the holiday so I wouldn't be deemed a jerk by my Facebook friends.

 In the seven years that I have been on Facebook, it has probably taken me five years to come to the conclusion that there are entirely too many cynics and haters out there and that every last one of them are only too happy to drag you down into the mire with them. Cynicism is a spirit killer. It rejoices in gloom and doom and points it's angry, accusing, crooked finger at anyone and everyone who would let the smallest

glimmer of hope, happiness, joy, or love, into it's myopic, narcissistic existence. I finally unfriended most of the cynics on my list and the rest, I've hidden. I love Valentine's Day, and I love having a special day on the calendar to express that love (although I don't need a special day to do so), to my friends, family, and most especially to my dearest Steph. And most of all, I love the smile on each of their faces when I tell them that I love them on Valentine's Day. Thank you, Mother, for instilling in me an appreciation for the things that matter most, most especially for the genuine expression of love on the special days that we have set aside to do just that.

The humble plight of the Ugly Chicken

Back in the mid 1970's, when I was a teenager, my mother went out and purchased a whole box full of unpainted ceramic Christmas tree ornaments and all the paints, brushes, and supplies that we would need to paint them. There were all kinds of ornaments - cute little mice perched upon Christmas packages, stockings, candy canes, manger scenes, stars, etc. However, among all of these cute and whimsical ornaments, was a plain, ugly, chicken which never got chosen to be painted.

My mother, brother, and I, all three, spent many leisurely, creative hours, painting ornaments, and by Christmas, we had quite a collection of ceramic ornaments to both hang on our tree and to give away as gifts. And as the supply of unfinished ornaments would begin to dwindle, Mother would go out buy another batch for us to paint.

One day, when I was rather bored, and needed something to do, I got the box of unpainted ornaments down and found that the supply had dwindled to only a few of the least favorites, so I decided to finish them up. Among the few, was the ugly chicken, which no one ever wanted to paint. There were only about five or six left, so one-by-one I painted the remaining ornaments, leaving the chicken for last. When I finally got to it, I decided that I would do the best I could with it and when I had finished, I decided that he was still every bit as ugly after I painted him, as he was before. When everyone saw that I had painted him, they laughed about how ugly he still was but they decided that he deserved a place on the tree.

From that year on, he was given a special place on the Erwin family Christmas tree, in the very back, on the very bottom branches where no one could see him. Even after I was grown and would bring my own family back home for Christmas, I would look for the ugly chicken, and there he would be, hanging on the very bottom branches, in the back of the tree.

In June of 2001, Mother passed away after a long and arduous battle with breast cancer, and my dad decided to sell the house that had been our family home since 1967.  My mother loved holidays and Christmas was her favorite of all, and as a result, there was an abundance of Christmas decorations -garlands, wreaths, stockings, ceramic angels, Santas, elves, and tree ornaments that had been collected and saved from my brother, sister and my early childhoods. Dad went through each box of Christmas decorations and divided them up, giving some to my brother and sister, as well as to me, and when I opened the box that contained my share of the decorations, I found that among the many ornaments, I had been given my mother's treasured Hallmark rocking horse collection, the little wooden angels that I brought back from my European travels, and several of the ceramic ornaments that I had painted as a teenager, including the ugly chicken.

So now the tradition continues: The ugly chicken has had his special place on Steph's and my tree since Christmas of 2001, in the very back, bottom branches. And every Christmas as we unpack the ornaments, my kids ask me if we still have the ugly chicken.  Two Christmases ago, when Lauren was in France as an exchange student, I was talking to her on Skype and telling her that we had put up the Christmas tree, and she asked if we had hung the ugly chicken.  She was obviously comforted by the fact that though she was far away from her family, the family traditions remained firm, and that when she returned home by the next Christmas, she would find that the ugly chicken still had his humble but honored spot on the family Christmas tree.